Diplomacy might be dead on the international stage, but don't worry, domestic surveillance is getting a shiny new upgrade.
Because what could possibly go wrong when you hand federal-grade immigration surveillance tools to the guys who pull you over for a broken taillight?
Remember when the government decided to run tens of millions of registered voters through an immigration database? Yeah, a federal judge just looked at that and said, 'absolutely not.'
If you thought peer review was keeping science pure, I have bad news: researchers are just prompt-engineering their way into major journals, and yes, they're getting caught because they don't know how numbers work on a ruler.
Monday woke up and chose absolute chaos, delivering a double whammy of geopolitical plot twists that nobody had on their bingo card.
The man who basically controlled the global economy for two decades with nothing but a briefcase and some incredibly confusing sentences has passed away.
Because apparently, making sure people with disabilities or reading difficulties can actually cast a ballot was just too much convenience for the American legal system to handle.
It feels like he just got the keys to Downing Street, but Keir Starmer is already packing his bags after winning a historic landslide victory less than two years ago.
If you had the Pentagon using airstrikes on speedboats on your bingo card, congratulations. The latest strike in the Pacific just killed three more people, keeping a very bizarre campaign going.
Just like that, the three-month war in the Middle East is on pause, the tankers are moving, and gas prices are already taking a dive.
Selling a peace deal is hard, but trying to convince everyone that unfreezing billions for your historic adversary is just a clever marketing strategy takes some serious mental gymnastics.
Imagine being a junior in high school and suddenly having to parent your two younger brothers because the system cut off your parents' life-saving meds.