US blocks the Strait of Hormuz while states sue over Paramount-Warner merger
Just another casual Tuesday: the federal government is casually risking a global energy crisis in the Middle East, while state attorneys general are panicking that merging two giant media dinosaurs like Paramount and Warner Bros. might ruin their weekend streaming options.
First, the heavy stuff. The United States is reinstating a naval blockade over the Strait of Hormuz. Yes, that tiny, incredibly tense strip of water where a massive chunk of the world's daily oil supply squeezes through. The US military is basically putting its hand directly on the world's energy windpipe, which is definitely going to make global gas prices look like phone numbers very soon.
But while Washington plays real-life battleship in the Middle East, a coalition of US states is focusing on the real emergency at home: stopping Paramount and Warner Bros. Discovery from becoming one mega-studio. Because heaven forbid there is one less streaming app to scroll through for forty minutes before finally giving up and going to sleep.
World War III might be brewing in the Persian Gulf, but at least the local courts are fighting the good fight to keep the cable package competition alive.
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