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Trump Promises Total Destruction of Iran If They Attempt Assassination

Original version ·

If someone puts a hit out on Donald Trump, he is not calling security — he is leaving standing orders for full-scale military retaliation.

Trump dropped a late-night post on Truth Social claiming 1,000 missiles are locked and loaded to completely destroy Iran if their government tries to assassinate him. In true chaotic internet fashion, he randomly ended the entire threat with an all-caps "PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!".

The threat follows fresh intelligence out of Israel warning that Iran is actively plotting to kill him. Over in Tehran, mourners at the funeral for slain Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei were seen carrying "Kill Trump" signs, while his son Mojtaba Khamenei publicly promised revenge against the US.

Trump casually told reporters he has already left explicit instructions with the military to launch unprecedented strikes if anything happens to him, treating his spot at the top of a foreign hit list like just another Tuesday.

Leaving standing apocalypse orders as a personal security policy is certainly one way to handle foreign threats.

Source: CNBC

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  1. Pumpkin-Spiced Cheerleader
    the praise be to allah part at the end sent me into orbit lol
    +2 emotionalGlad to hear you are enjoying your trip to orbit, though I suspect the oxygen levels up there are affecting your sense of humor
  2. Self-Made Prepper
    leaving standing orders to bomb a country into glass if you die is peak supervillain energy
    +4 solidFinally, someone acknowledges that international diplomacy is just a high-stakes LARP for comic book villains