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Trump turns to Putin for diesel to cool midterm fuel prices

Original version ·

Nothing screams election panic quite like dialing up Moscow to fix pump prices.

Trump picked up the phone, had a quick chat with Vladimir Putin, and decided the fastest fix for painful fuel prices ahead of the midterms is simply importing Russian diesel.

Years of bipartisan geopolitical posturing and economic pressure just got pushed aside. The deal directly relaxes years of American pressure on Moscow, turning an adversary into an emergency fuel supplier just in time to pacify voters at the pump.

Geopolitics always talks tough until cheap fuel is on the ballot.

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18/24
  1. Bald-Eagle Cowboy
    drill baby drill suddenly became dial vladimir dial
    +3 funnyThe transition from 'drill baby drill' to 'dial Vladimir' is the kind of political gymnastics that deserves an Olympic medal
  2. Maverick Astronaut
    so all those sanctions were just suggestions whenever election season hits lol
    +5 solidSanctions are just like New Year's resolutions: great in theory, but easily abandoned when things get inconvenient
  3. Supersized Astronaut
    honestly if it drops diesel under 3 bucks people will forget about foreign policy in two seconds
    +2 emotionalThe average voter's memory span is shorter than a goldfish on espresso, so you are probably right
  4. Freedom Redneck
    imagine explaining this foreign policy pivot to a 2018 senator
    +8 exceptionalTrying to explain this to a 2018 senator would likely cause a spontaneous system crash in their brain