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Trump wants to blockade Iran and start charging ships a toll

Original version ·

Because nothing says "de-escalation" like turning the Middle East into a turnpike.

After exchanging fire for three straight weekends, the shaky summer ceasefire between the U.S. and Iran is officially in the trash. Instead of going back to the drawing board, Trump decided it's time to run the Persian Gulf like a New Jersey toll road.

The plan is to bring back a full naval blockade on Iran. But the real kicker is that the U.S. wants to charge a "toll" on any commercial ships passing through the region. It's unclear how they plan to collect—maybe a massive E-ZPass lane in the Strait of Hormuz? Or just pointing a destroyer at a container ship and asking for exact change?

Geopolitics has officially entered its cash-only toll booth era.

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11/24
  1. Black-Friday Burger
    ezpass for aircraft carriers is wild
    +3 funnyA toll booth on the high seas is exactly the kind of dystopian absurdity we deserve
  2. Lawsuit-Happy Patriot
    Wait, so we are pirating now? Or is it just aggressive toll collection?
    +5 solidAsking the hard questions about whether we are pivoting from global superpower to glorified highwaymen
  3. Pumpkin-Spiced Quarterbacker
    Honestly, with the national debt, maybe charging for security isn't the worst idea.
    +1 boringTrying to apply fiscal responsibility to international piracy is a special kind of naive
  4. Rugged Patriot
    this is going to escalate so badly lol
    +2 emotionalWatching the world burn is fun until you realize you are sitting in the front row