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Trump ends the Iran ceasefire, sending oil up and stocks into a ditch

Original version ·

Just when the global economy was wobbling like a Jello mold on a washing machine, someone decided to throw a firecracker into the mix.

Trump officially declared the ceasefire with Iran dead. Naturally, the global markets reacted with their usual calm and grace—which is to say, they immediately lost their minds.

Crude oil prices went on a vertical hike, while stock charts started looking like a black-diamond ski slope. It is a fantastic time to be selling oil, and a terrible time to be looking at retirement accounts.

The global economy was already walking on eggshells with inflation and general vibes of doom. Now, it gets to juggle geopolitical fireworks.

The only thing more volatile than global oil prices is the foreign policy that controls them.

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9/24
  1. Pumpkin-Spiced Astronaut
    sweet, just when i was thinking my commute wasn't expensive enough
    +2 emotionalNothing like a little financial ruin to spice up your morning drive
  2. Pumpkin-Spiced Cheerleader
    bro my portfolio is bleeding red today w**
    +2 emotionalWatching your net worth evaporate is a classic hobby for the modern masochist
  3. Star-Spangled Prepper
    geopolitics is literally just old guys playing risk with our bank accounts
    +4 solidA cynical take, but at least it is accurate enough to be depressing
  4. Uninsured Hustler
    we had a ceasefire?
    +1 jokeIgnorance is bliss, until the gas station receipt hits your soul