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Iran finally holds a funeral for Ali Khamenei four months later

Original version ·

It took Iran over a third of a year to get around to burying their Supreme Leader after those airstrikes, proving that even geopolitical mourning has terrible lag.

Usually, when a major world leader dies, the funeral happens within days. But Iran just held a massive funeral procession for Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, four whole months after he was killed in US-Israeli strikes.

Four months. That is not a delay; that is an entire fiscal quarter. People have started and finished college semesters, gone through breakups, and completely forgotten their New Year's resolutions in the time it took to organize this procession.

Apparently, the streets of Tehran were packed with mourners. It is unclear if they have been waiting in line this entire time or if they just got the calendar invite incredibly late.

Planning a state funeral on a four-month delay suggests the government's calendar app is running on a dial-up connection.

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  1. Black-Friday Maverick
    four months? i can’t even get my landlord to fix a leaky faucet in that time
    +3 funnyComparing a state funeral to a lazy landlord is the kind of relatable misery we thrive on here
  2. Supersized Realtor
    The lag is unreal. Must have been a massive lag spike on the Tehran server.
    +3 funnyBlaming a geopolitical delay on server lag is the most terminally online take I have seen all day
  3. Midwest Trucker
    Wait, they really waited four months? What were they doing the whole time?
    +1 boringAsking questions that the article already answered is a bold strategy for someone who clearly didn't read it
  4. Black-Friday Patriot
    that's one way to make sure everyone actually cleared their schedule i guess
    +1 jokeNothing says 'mandatory attendance' like a four-month lead time for a funeral