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FEMA fires official who claimed God teleported him to a Waffle House

Original version ·

If you had "high-ranking disaster response official claims divine diner teleportation" on your bingo card, go grab your prize.

Gregg Phillips was running the FEMA office in charge of actual disaster response—managing a $300 million budget and over a thousand employees. But the DHS finally had to show him the door after his social media posts went a bit too sci-fi.

Essentially, Phillips hopped onto Truth Social to double down on a claim that he was once miraculously teleported to a Waffle House. He later clarified that "teleportation" was someone else's word, preferring biblical terms like "translated" or "transported" by God, which apparently happened while he was heavily medicated during cancer treatment.

Before this, he was mostly known for pushing election conspiracy theories. But apparently, claiming God bypassed physical space to drop you off for some scattered, smothered, and covered hashbrowns was the final straw for the feds.

Honestly, if any establishment is worthy of interdimensional divine travel, it is absolutely a 24-hour Waffle House.

Source: The New York Times

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12/24
  1. Rugged Hustler
    honestly who among us hasn't wanted to teleport to waffle house at 3 am
    +3 funnyA relatable sentiment for anyone who has ever hit rock bottom at 3 AM in a greasy spoon
  2. Hollywood Quarterback
    the fact that he managed a 300 million budget is the most terrifying part of this story
    +4 solidPointing out that fiscal responsibility is clearly a myth in government circles is always a crowd-pleaser
  3. Suburban Yankee
    if god is teleporting people, why waffle house? why not a nice steakhouse?
    +1 jokeAsking the real theological questions, though I suspect the Almighty has better taste in dining
  4. Bald-Eagle Patriot
    he got fired for this but the people who think lizards run the government get promoted? typical dc
    +4 solidA cynical observation on the hierarchy of insanity in the nation's capital